Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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