ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
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We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
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I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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