dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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