Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize