Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
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I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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