so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize