roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
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i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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