just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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