Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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