I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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