You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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