yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
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It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize