weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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