i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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