It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
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Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
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He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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