considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize