I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize