woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize