he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
tell me about the fingering
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