Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
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I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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