i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
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Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
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