so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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