Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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