Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize