The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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