people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize