But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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