clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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