I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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