I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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