I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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