i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
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is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
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Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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