Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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