We're facebook friends in real life
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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