He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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