Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
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Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
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Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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