he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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