I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize