im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
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I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
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my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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