toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
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i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
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He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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