and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
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You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
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Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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