are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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