I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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