We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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