The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize