your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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