i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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