They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize