he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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