Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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